World of infidelity

The topic of Tiger Woods has been a popular topic for discussion among the female collegues these days. If he has an ex-model wife, why the need to look for other women? And not just one woman, but ten, and still counting. It could be because the women are throwing themselves at him since he is wealthy. Or his wife and him are already not having a good relationship enough. Or Tiger himself is actually quite a unfaithful man.
Well, firstly, I don't find him attractive. Yes, perhaps his wealth is attractive. It can give a woman whatever she wants.
Maybe he has a glib tongue and can sweet-talk women. But then, it brings another question, so why does he picks some not so good-looking girls? You would think, he should have better taste in women. So maybe, it could be a chemistry thing. Or these women are able to satisfy his lacking and needs (other than physical fantasies?).
Whichever the case, can I accept my man to be unfaithful to me? The idea of sharing a man with another woman irks me, especially in terms of sexual relationship. The sex is supposed to be unique to two people, so how is it possible to be shared? Or, thinking, some other woman shares the same experience ( in a way)...
But sometimes I feel that when the man strays, it could possibly be a result of a weakening in the husband-wife relationship. The wife has a role to play.

Haunt of Handel

Finally the curtains are closed upon Handel's Messiah. A strong feeling of emotion came upon me last evening when the book is closed for the last time. Now it would probably be sitting in my cupboard closed until there is a chance of performing it again. As lao shi said, it is probably once in a lifetime that you get to perform Messiah.

More than a concert to attract the audience or to draw non-believers, I feel that it is more of a performance and a remainder to us - the performers. After Elaine Pao's seminar on Saturday, it brought new light to me about this great work. Suddenly, I was struck with great interest for Handel. It is a great piece of work! The musicality, the technique, the style, the whole composition is a wonder. No wonder, she said it was a work inspired by God. Handel may be a great composer, but no matter how great, one couldn't possibly have written such a work?

It makes me look forward to Elijah which is also a great work. Messiah is much "slower" while Elijah is very much fast-moving. I feel that Elijah keeps moving forward and not so much slow.

I really hope SSO will open their doors again next year. I will definitely sign up to sing!

Day 31

It's now 1 month after Rys has gone home. I am getting more used to operating FF w/o him. Capt.Ivan is giving plenty of problems and always asking too much questions. ( Had to stop for awhile, because talking about the devil, he just called...) Quite free now in the office shaking leg because PCR and RBQ are both doing nothing. RBQ will be re-delivered back to owners end of this month - very soon. So 1 less ship for me. Already have nothing to do, now it's going to get worst.

Just got a shell bomb - Jasmine is getting married! Such a sudden shock.
Suddenly, it dawned upon me - when is my turn? No point looking at flats or wedding packages, I doubt I will be getting married any time soon. Why am I so troublesome? Suddenly I feel that, the longer it drags, the more I don't want to get married anymore. JY doesn't understand it at all, and feels that I am putting pressure on him. Because, as it drags, I want to do so many things. I want to take Masters, which will take 2 years. Maybe the company wants to send me to London, then it will be in another 2-3 years before I get to go. By the time I return, maybe it's another 2-3 years althogether. Then suddenly I want to concentrate on my work and career, and all these will crash with family commitments. Knowing JY, he is a "family" man, and of course, he would probably expect children, and a housely wife (not necessarily housewife) and I would not be able to balance. How long more do I have to wait?
You know, sometimes I feel so stuck in my heart, so much things, but nobody understands.

And, nobody ever reads this page anymore,
so why am I still writing?

Day 25

It's Friday today.
Supposed to go for farewell dinner for Ando-san today after work. Guess, it's going to be some drinking again.
Saw on Facebook today, Joanne is finally getting married tomorrow. It must have been 2 years already? Jasmin has also got married. Gosh, she looks so young in the pictures.
Did a silly quiz on Facebook yesterday. I am going to have 3 children - Alfie at 26, Mia at 28 and Sianna at 33. Hello, I am like turning 25 in two months, so I should be married by now? I definitely don't want it to be a shot-gun. If it is, I'm so going to kill JY!
Planning to "escape" Christmas this year. So trying to pyscho mom to go Vietnam. Then, Uncle Ah Seng is getting baptised this Christmas... so no choice, must stay in Singapore and support him.
I am foreseeing that for the next two weeks I have nothing to do.
Rainbow Quest going for dry-dock. Pacific Rainbow going to be floating storage.
The new guy, Saito, will be coming next week. Wonder how he will be like...

Day 24

Today is the 24th day R went home for vacation.
I am starting to get used to not having him around again.
Work is still the same, except I'm covering for Jasmine for these few days as she's sick with fever.
I am trying to look for assignments to teach piano, but looks like it's going to be difficult.
I have no pre-experience and nobody wants to hire me.
Waiting for my Perth trip to come soon.