Friday, October 02, 2009
|[ Day 31 ]|
It's now 1 month after Rys has gone home. I am getting more used to operating FF w/o him. Capt.Ivan is giving plenty of problems and always asking too much questions. ( Had to stop for awhile, because talking about the devil, he just called...) Quite free now in the office shaking leg because PCR and RBQ are both doing nothing. RBQ will be re-delivered back to owners end of this month - very soon. So 1 less ship for me. Already have nothing to do, now it's going to get worst.
Just got a shell bomb - Jasmine is getting married! Such a sudden shock.
Suddenly, it dawned upon me - when is my turn? No point looking at flats or wedding packages, I doubt I will be getting married any time soon. Why am I so troublesome? Suddenly I feel that, the longer it drags, the more I don't want to get married anymore. JY doesn't understand it at all, and feels that I am putting pressure on him. Because, as it drags, I want to do so many things. I want to take Masters, which will take 2 years. Maybe the company wants to send me to London, then it will be in another 2-3 years before I get to go. By the time I return, maybe it's another 2-3 years althogether. Then suddenly I want to concentrate on my work and career, and all these will crash with family commitments. Knowing JY, he is a "family" man, and of course, he would probably expect children, and a housely wife (not necessarily housewife) and I would not be able to balance. How long more do I have to wait?
You know, sometimes I feel so stuck in my heart, so much things, but nobody understands.
And, nobody ever reads this page anymore,
so why am I still writing?
>>--|[ :.a nihonjin gal.:]|-->> Friday, October 02, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
|[ Day 25 ]|
It's Friday today.
Supposed to go for farewell dinner for Ando-san today after work. Guess, it's going to be some drinking again.
Saw on Facebook today, Joanne is finally getting married tomorrow. It must have been 2 years already? Jasmin has also got married. Gosh, she looks so young in the pictures.
Did a silly quiz on Facebook yesterday. I am going to have 3 children - Alfie at 26, Mia at 28 and Sianna at 33. Hello, I am like turning 25 in two months, so I should be married by now? I definitely don't want it to be a shot-gun. If it is, I'm so going to kill JY!
Planning to "escape" Christmas this year. So trying to pyscho mom to go Vietnam. Then, Uncle Ah Seng is getting baptised this Christmas... so no choice, must stay in Singapore and support him.
I am foreseeing that for the next two weeks I have nothing to do.
Rainbow Quest going for dry-dock. Pacific Rainbow going to be floating storage.
The new guy, Saito, will be coming next week. Wonder how he will be like...
>>--|[ :.a nihonjin gal.:]|-->> Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
|[ Day 24 ]|
Today is the 24th day R went home for vacation.
I am starting to get used to not having him around again.
Work is still the same, except I'm covering for Jasmine for these few days as she's sick with fever.
I am trying to look for assignments to teach piano, but looks like it's going to be difficult.
I have no pre-experience and nobody wants to hire me.
Waiting for my Perth trip to come soon.
>>--|[ :.a nihonjin gal.:]|-->> Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
|[ Finding peace in your heart - step one ]|
I lost my whole long post! @#$ the stupid IBM!
I talked about my depression and how this book is so reflective and helpful.
But such things can only be said once, because I cannot remember what I wrote and am too tired to try writing again...
>>--|[ :.a nihonjin gal.:]|-->> Friday, September 18, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
|[ 16th ]|
It is so quiet...
although Rj is back... Rys is still mia...
>>--|[ :.a nihonjin gal.:]|-->> Wednesday, September 16, 2009
